Let's talk about balloons.

Balloons work because of tension. When filled with air, the air on the inside presses against the inside of the balloon which presses against the air on the outside. The outside air presses back on the surface of the balloon, which then presses against the inside air. When these two "pressures" (really forces from the pressures) are equal, the balloon stays a given size. If more air is put into the balloon (or if the air is energized by say, heating it up), the pressure on the inside will be, for an instant, greater than the pressure on the outside, and the balloon will expand. The expansion will continue until the pressure on the outside matches the pressure on the inside, and the balloon achieves a new "normal" (state of equilibrium, you might call it). If the pressure on the inside rises forever, the balloon will expand until it pops. If the pressure on the inside decreases, the balloon will contract until it's not really a balloon anymore. There's a lot more going on in this system, but this will serve our purposes for now. The point here, is that even though balloons seem to do nothing most of the time, there's actually a lot of complexity involved in achieving that "nothing", and all that nothing works because of the ongoing tension between the inside and the outside.

Why do we care?

We care because an unexpectedly large number of life principles revolve around this concept of tension. Built on the foundational absolute truths which are core to reality, there exist dynamics which do not break those truths, but from which no obvious answer can be found. For example, consider the following questions. As a person who needs good friends, should you try to make new friends or should you invest in the friends you already have? If a friend confides in you that they did something wrong, should you confront them with truth, or extend grace? As a business, should you focus on refining your current products or invest in new research and development? As a church, should you work to go deep or go wide?

Answers exist for each of these scenarios, but they all need more context. The answer is never the same for 100% of the cases out there. For two different people, businesses, or churches, the answer might be the the complete opposite. In fact, for a specific person, business, or church, the answer might be completely different at a different point in time.

The worst approach to take with any tension question is to set up and/or lean on a set of dogmatic rules. Tension questions, by definition, cannot be answered by rules. It is normal to feel their challenge and complexity, and to be uncomfortable with them; however, removing the discomfort by attempting to "solve" the tension is the one thing you must not do. If you answer a "tension question" the same way every time, you will tend to end up like the balloon if it is always inflated or always deflated. Constantly answer one way, and you will tend to expand to a breaking point. Constantly answer the other, and you will tend to deflate you until you are largely ineffective in what you're attempting to do.

The tension must be allowed to exist. It must live on. It may make you uncomfortable to allow tension to hang around, but that discomfort must remain. It is the discomfort that lets you know that the tension is still alive and furthermore that you have neither popped nor completely deflated. The correct approach is to fully embrace the tension and to pursue an answer in the given circumstance with wisdom and discernment. Yes, this means you may have to solve more problems down the road. Yes, this means you'll probably have to course correct for the direction you decided to go today, but all of that is secondary to the tension. What's important is that the tension lives on.

Notes

1. I'm not explicitly defining what is and is not a tension question. If you need more examples, though: "Should I put this $100 in checking or savings?" is a tension question, but "Should I knock over this old lady and take her $100?" is NOT. Don't steal from old ladies.
2. Questions? Comments? Rude remarks? Get in touch with me via my Contact Page.